Zexion in Wonderland
by XFateXFellXShortX
Summary: "We're all mad here." It started out like any other day, then I fell down a hole. T for a bit of swearing


**Blaaahhh I haven't posted anything in forever! XXNINJA-BAGELXx please don't be mad! DX Well anyways… I found this little fic just chillin in a old green notebook in the mess that IS my closet. And I thought, "Well HEY! This is cute, I'll fix it up and publish it for alllll those lovely KH fans out there!" Soooo here ya go guys! Enjoy!**

It's pretty funny how the weirdest day ever starts out pretty average. Like everyday, I woke up at six a.m., got ready, and went downstairs to get my mission from Saix.

"Today we're having you explore a new world," The blue-haired nobody informed me.

"Okay," I replied, summoning a dark portal. Little did I know, I was about to have the maddest day of my existence.

The new world was nothing special at all. The entire thing just looked like one massive meadow. There was exactly one tree in the center of it, and the grass was so tall it almost reached my chin. I sighed, not wanting to do any investigating, but since I was obligated to do so, I decided to make my way toward the tree.

Once I got there, I noticed there was nothing out-of-the-ordinary about the large oak. So I sat down under the shade and pulled out the novel I had been reading as of late. As I was reading, the tall grass in front of me rustled a bit. I ignored it, believing it was just my imagination. I went back to reading my book. Just then another, even louder, rustle happened and Demyx appeared. But, he didn't seem to be himself. This Demyx was about two feet in height and a little chubby. He had a pair of white rabbit ears sticking out of his dirty blonde mullet and he was wearing a crimson waistcoat and a pair of gray trousers.

"Demyx…?" I asked, out of pure shock and confusion.

He took one look at me and pulled a pocket watch out of his waistcoat that was bigger than his tiny hand. "I'M LATE!" He shrieked, throwing the watch back in his pocket. "I'm lateeeee!" He cried again, running off.

"Dem, wait!" I called, running after him. "What are you late for?"

I was able to follow him all the way to the edge of the meadow. A thick, never-ending hedge ran along the edge. Demyx slipped through the brush and I soon followed him. He ran to a mouth of a cave that was just behind. I stood there and watched him jump in. Determined to find out what exactly he was late for, I jumped in after him.

I was falling. Apparently the cave dipped down into some underground hole. I prepared myself for the worst, and thought all of my last goodbyes and all of the sorry's I never said. I opened my eyes to see all sorts of furniture and other random items floating around me. What in the name of-

"OWWW!" I had fallen face-first on a hard, checkered tile floor. I looked up, trying to ignore the pain of my fall. Demyx the Rabbit ran through a door in front of me and slammed it in my face. I reopened the door to find another one, and another one, and another one…

After a series of odd, mismatched doors, I was able to see another room. I got on my hands and knees and just barely squeezed through the last door. Once in the room, I was able to see Demyx the Rabbit run through another small door. It slammed shut behind him and a little _ching!_ let me know it was locked. I knelt down and tugged at the knob of the door. The small door struck me as odd because it had a face that resembled Saix. I ignored it and kept pulling, but to no avail.

"Do you have any _MANNERS?" _It yelled.

"Ahhh!" I yelled, flying back away from the door.

It looked _exactly _like Saix, same blue color, same sadistic scowl…

"What do you need?" He asked harshly.

"I'm sorry, I just saw Demyx running through here and I was curious to see where he was going. Do you mind letting me through?"

"Sorry it's no use. You're too big."

"Damn…" I muttered to myself.

"Well, haven't you tried the bottle?" He asked slyly.

All of a sudden, a table with a small glass bottle flew into the room and landed perfectly upright. I stood up and examined the bottle. "Drink me. What the hell?" I said to myself, shaking the bottle a bit. I was a bit skeptical, what was inside? I shrugged it off and brought the bottle to my lips. I took a deep swig and felt myself shrinking. "Look at me, I'm the perfect size."

"Oh, by the way, I'm locked."

"Not. Any. More," I said aggravated, pulling out my lexicon.

"What are you gonna do with that…?" Saix asked, fear tingeing his voice.

I smacked him multiple times as hard as I could, thinking of how much I would enjoy it if it was the actual Saix. The hinges gave way and the door swung open. "Bye, asshole!" I called over my shoulder to Saix. I ran after Demyx the Rabbit as he ran into a dark forest yelling, "Holy shit, I'm lateeee!"

I couldn't find Demyx in the shade of the dark trees. He was kinda slow at running so I wasn't too worried. "Demyxxxx where areeee you?" I called. No answer. I shrugged and began to walk ahead in the direction where I saw him last. All in one instantaneous moment, Luxord and Xigbar popped out right in front of me, wearing matching red sailor suits.

"What the-"

"Would you like to hear a story?" Luxord shouted excitedly. He sounded quite intoxicated.

"No, I'm looking for someone. I really must be going," I protested.

"Ohhh no… You can't simply leave without hearing a story!" Xigbar insisted. They both grinned mischievously, obviously drunk.

"Xibar, _move." _

Instead, he picked me up, slung me over his shoulder and plopped me down on a log.

"So," Luxord started, "Me an' him were at a bar on night, and this hot chick pulls in…" The two begin hysterically laughing and drunkenly fall over. I take this as my cue to leave. I get up and sprint in the direction that Demyx the Rabbit ran.

It seemed like the dark forest lasted forever and ever. After what seemed like hours of running, I approached a small pink-ish house. It was awfully lopsided and I heard some kind of noise coming from the back. I came around and found a small gate. Beyond that gate, there was a long table covered by a yellow tablecloth, held down by plenty of teapots and teacups. What was even weirder though, were the two men sitting at the table. Vexen and Lexaeus sat at the table, maniacally grinning and singing. Vexen, like Demyx, had a pair of rabbit ears sprouting from his head, while Lexaeus wore an over-sized green hat.

"A VERY MERRY UN-BIRTHDAY TO…YOU!" They both sang obnoxiously.

I noticed in the middle of a table was a yellow teapot without a lid. A small miniature Namine with mouse ears and a tail lay snoozing.

"Hey lad!" Vexen shouted at me, "Come join our un-birthday party!"

I unlatched the gate and cautiously walked in. I took a seat next to Lexaeus. "Tell me Vexen, what exactly is an un-birthday party?"

"Well since out of 365 days of the year, only one is your actual birthday, every other day is your un-birthday! Is today _your _un-birthday too?"

"It is illogical, but yes I suppose it is."

With that they both began to sing the un-birthday song. Once they were done, Vexen asked, "Would you like a cup of tea?"

I shook my head, "No, I really should be going." I excused myself and stood up to leave.

"Wait! Zexion! Why is a raven like a writing desk?" Lexaeus shouted after me.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I yelled angrily.

Nothing even made since around here. But really, why _is _a raven like a writing desk?

I was again hopelessly lost in this world's forests again. I found a flat rock under a welcoming looking tree to sit on and rest for a bit. As I sat down, I tried to gather all of my thoughts and make sense of all that was happening. Yeah, I got nothing.

"Looking for something?" Up, resting in the tree's lowest branch was Axel. But it wasn't ordinary Axel, this one was adorned with purple cat ears and a striped tail to match.

"Axel, what's going on? Nothing is making sense! I feel like I'm going mad!"

He chuckled at me and grinned a Cheshire grin. "That's because we're all mad here, soon you'll be mad too." That was then followed with a crazy sort of laugh.

I rolled my eyes. "Can you just tell me how to get home? That's all I want." A realization hit me just then. I stood up and outstretched my arm, waiting for a dark portal to materialize.

"You won't be able to use those here," he explained, "Just use the shortcut." He reached over and pulled a branch down. A small doorway appeared in the trunk of the tree. Inside the doorway, I could see the beginnings of a garden maze.

"Thanks Axel, I owe you one!" I exclaimed, running into the maze.

I found my way out of the maze to see Roxas, Xion, Xaldin, and Xemnas dressed as playing cards. They all had buckets of red paint and were frantically rushing around painting white roses red.

"What are you all doing?" I questioned.

Xion quickly slopped her brush back in the can. "We were supposed to grow red roses for the King and Queen of Hearts, but they grew white. If she sees them white, she'll have our heads!" she shrieked.

For some reason I can't explain, I grabbed a brush and a paint can. "I'll help then!" I rushed around the heart-shaped rose trees with them, painting flowers.

A trumpet sounded and a huge line of cards made a two-way line. Behind the trumpet, I saw Demyx. I grinned. So_ this _is what he was late for! Roxas pulled me in line with the rest of them and he pulled me into a bow with the rest of them. Larxene and Marluxia walked by, all decked out in some major fancy clothes. Larxene sauntered over to the trees. One of them wasn't fully painted.

"Who's been painting my roses red?" she asked in a sickly sweet voice. When no one answered, she lost her temper. "WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED?"

I gulped as her red stiletto heels clicked over to us.

"Was it you, Xion?" She asked sweetly, seeing the red splotch on the card's back.

"No it was Xaldin!"

"It was Xemnas!"

"Roxas too!"

Larxene maliciously smiled. "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" She screamed as other cards carried the four away.

Marluxia walked over to me. "Now what's this?" He said, slyly.

Larxene stood beside him. "It's a boy." Larxene bent down slightly. "Stand," she commanded.

I scrambled to my feet. "Yes, uhh… your majesty?"

"Aww… He's polite. Let's play a game of croquet!" She grabbed my wrist and dragged me to the field.

Larxene was a cheater. Not only were we playing with flamingos and hedgehogs, everything moved to her advantage. Of course I kept my mouth shut, I didn't want to lose my head. Axel had appeared out of thin air as Larxene made another swing.

"I say we make her angry, don't you?"

I shook my head. "Kingdom Hearts, no!"

He grinned mischievously, "Oh yes, this'll make her _very_ angry." He shoved her over, and she landed face-first, skirt around her waist, cherry-red thong out for everyone to see. She immediately got up, blushing, and glaring at me.

"OFF WITH HIS HEEEEEEAAAADDDD!"

In one moment everything ran at me, so I mad a run for it. The army of cards, the Queen, and the King all chased me around the maze. This went on until I was backed into a dead-end. I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered to myself, "Wake up Zexion, please wake up!"

I sat up in a cold sweat, realizing it was all just a dream. "Thank Kingdom Hearts!" I sighed with relief. Once I was ready, I went out to get my mission.

"Today we're having you explore a new world."

Here we go again.

**So, what did you think? I myself love the ending. (: But anyways, if you're cool RnR, if you're not, don't. Flames are for fags, so no flaming! Well peace out!(:**

**3 FFS **


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